I shall never forget the power of the moments at STANDING ROCK...The 12 days I spent there were overflowing with moments that literally transformed Indian boys into Native men and Native men into true warriors.
I knew as I watched Two Kettles walk across a frozen river at 10° below zero, I would in all likelihood, never again come as close to seeing the rawness of courage...It was a dark night and my eyes followed those 2 warriors I knew only as Two Kettles with my eyes until their bodies became silhouettes...I remember feeling ashamed I had not the courage those young braves possessed as they assured ME not to worry, that as long as I was giving all the bravery I had within me to stay behind and wait upon them to return, that I must be at peace with myself and allow them to finish the dark journey across a frozen river and up an exposed riverbank without me.
I admit, their words eased my guilt but the solemness of the moments before the two very young warriors left the safety of my warm rented car was thick and heavy and without pomp or ceremony.
I was worried for their safety as I had attempted to talk them out of their mission to retrieve a flag that was not even their own tribal flag.
You see I had done something I had not ever done...I had talked two people into something and I could NOT talk them out of it...I had convinced Two Kettles that the tattered piece of cloth was more than just another tribal flag. It was a symbol of my nation's alliance with them. To allow the feds to bulldoze it and dispose of it as trash I argued, was erasing some, even if just a small sum of my tribe's history as well as their tribe's history and the Miracle of Standing Rock!
You must help me save it, I told them, I am a stranger here...I do not know my way around your lands.
They said little at first...and then they spoke...
They call you the fancy lady, they call you A Lumbee Gershom... But they also call you the friend of Unci Dennis. So we trust you. And we are now concerned...we are concerned if we say no, that you may ask others who will lead you into danger...So Lumbee JoJo, You spoke of this flag and of history..Can you promise us it will hang in a place where people in your lands in the East will see it? We are NOT afraid of the frozen river, we know her well, that is why we fight to protect her, she has taken care of us...but we respect her power too...she knows greed. We will not step onto her if you want the flag for greed. We want the world to know what happened here! Can you promise us that Lumbee JoJo? Can you promise us you want the flag only to tell her story? Unci Dennis said your grandfather marched with him and fought with him in Washington D.C. He said your cloths may be fancy but your words are plain. so tell us Lumbee JoJo, why are you here? Why did you come to Standing Rock?
Before I could think of a truly articulate, persuasive statement, the truth in all her simplicity spilled out of me...
I wanted to see history.
The stocky, shorter one finally spoke. We can't even get them to show what is happening to us on mainstream news! So now you saw some history.. how will getting your flag back help us?
I just sat there at the casino bar beside them, listening NOT to anger but hearing FRUSTRATION. I knew the words they did not say, my heart hurt as one looked down at the casino bar before us and shook his head as he exhaled so deeply we all heard him sigh.
And then one of those magic moments that defined Standing Rock happened. I told them how far I felt from home when I arrived at the camp.. And then I looked up and right at the entrance to Camp OCETI SAKOWIN was my tribal flag. I knew it was a sign I did the right thing by coming here.
And from there we began talking of signs and symbols. I told them I believed that every single tribal flag that flew at Standing Rock was a piece of history and must be preserved.
We cannot allow the feds to trash them. Each one now is the centerpiece of a great journey it went on. I want to take my tribal flag home, i said as straightforward as I could.
The tall one made the offer... O.k. JoJo, If we help you get the flag back, you give your word it will go into a museum? It must be placed in a place where it can tell the story...You will do this?
I promised it. I gave my word I would do all in my power to have it displayed in a museum back East where it would spark discussion of Standing Rock.
So in the light of day, we agreed.... We would retrieve the Lumbee flag under cover of night...and armed guards. Yes, that part...the part about armed guards they skimmed over... was the part I could not let go of.
I was still dwelling on it as we were smudged that night before our short but potentially dangerous journey, and i was obsessed with it as I handed them all they had asked for, two flashlights, a plastic bag a map and a ride to and from the decided drop off point.
As I handed them the items I was shivering and my teeth chattered so hard I thought I would chip a tooth. Just wait till before dawn, they told me...If we are not back before dawn, you leave...
I looked at them and began to cry...This is wrong,, Not all this for a piece of cloth... please, come back to the hotel with me now...
The taller one grabbed my arm....Hey now, JoJo, we are not doing this just for you...Heck no!! We are doing this to show them they CANNOT erase us...they cannot bulldoze history...They cannot bulldoze Standing Rock.
Do not forget your own words...That flag symbolized our alliance, sister. Your people and my people...we gathered once at Standing Rock.
As I watched them disappear into the night, I found the courage to wait alone in the dark Dakota night. The courage came in a single moment. A moment that was as brief as it was momentous...
And as with so many things that happened at Standing Rock, It is not time to tell the rest of the story...yet.
March 21, 2018
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Flag of the Lumbee people held by tribal member and author,
Anita Jo Shifflett. (2018)
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I had to read this and re-read it with the emotions your moment engineered. It is hard to fathom how dark the energies and intent of a people deeply opposed to the principles of water threats and death to those who are responsible for the Earth, our Mother!. It lingers, this propensity of violence towards women, as women like you take risks standing against this stubborn rock subjugating life for profit and privilege. That was one of my immediate reactions.
You know this, but others need to understand the basis of Native life: spiritual responsibility has natural responses in every act of living. Without the sense of spiritual responsibility in one's life any brutality can pass a litmus test. Without the people fully engaged in their spiritual responsibility chaos would race across all of existence creating terror within a type of hell too horrible to live through, and hard to describe to the simple minded or those living deep in denial...
You know this, but others need to understand the basis of Native life: spiritual responsibility has natural responses in every act of living. Without the sense of spiritual responsibility in one's life any brutality can pass a litmus test. Without the people fully engaged in their spiritual responsibility chaos would race across all of existence creating terror within a type of hell too horrible to live through, and hard to describe to the simple minded or those living deep in denial...
I admire your overlapping telling of more than one story in one story. - Dawn Wolf, Keeper of Stories
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