Healing Trauma

Echo Manika
http://www.echomanika.com

I have lived through a very painful experience of emotional abuse and bullying for standing firm and honouring my core beliefs and conscience. I write this because it is very important to own the truth of my experience.

No other analysis of this phenomenon is as clear-headed, and as validating for the victims of insidious and perverse abuses of power than Marie-France Hirigoyen's Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and the Erosion of Identity. Hirigoyen's insights are so important because she acknowledges the impact that such abuse has on a person's soul. It is the hardest for others to comprehend, confusing for the victim, and challenging for witnesses to take a clear stand because of its subtle, yet brutally corrosive impact. It is also challenging because the abuser engages in highly skilled manipulations and is able to create doubt and deflect the ethical responsibility for their actions. In fact, they can be quite brilliant at turning the entire situation around and forcing their target to carry the shame for their own actions through character assassination and projected role reversal.

How can the lessons and wisdom gleaned from such an emotionally and psychologically violent encounter be woven into a blanket of healing?

I've arrived at some answers for myself, but being on the receiving end of someone else's unacknowledged pain and rage remains an enigmatic dance of unconscious dynamics. One thing that I am certain about is that only the faith in your own soul (your core spiritual essence) and its connection to the soul of the world is strong enough to pull you through such an ordeal without breaking you. The love and support of people who care for and love you, the assistance of skilled professionals, and attention to your physical health are all key. Yet the ability to be in the world, trust again, rebuild your life and work, and renew your commitment to what you believe in, can only occur when you surrender to a force within yourself that is infinitely loving, compassionate and just.

There are so many deep traumas in our world which ache for healing. I know that my own vulnerability has connected me more deeply to the vulnerability of others, and to the wounds present in life. I don't feel connected in a weak and sentimental way, because I am acutely aware that healing trauma requires true grit, strength and courage. However, I feel a deeper kinship with others through my experience. The act of deepening compassion continues through my encounter of walking through the fire and being tested to the core.

Trauma is experienced when human beings confront something so overwhelming (either emotionally, psychologically, or physically), that it forces a re-circuiting of their being in order to circumvent the unendurable. Only a force, a belief, an experience, or a value greater than us has the ability to give us a fighting chance against the overwhelm that could break us into less than who we are. I surrender to that which opens me more fully into life and love, not to that which asks for, or demands, less.

From this deeply surrendered place, we may find ourselves graced with the wisdom that our painful shattering can be an initiation into a remembrance and renewal of who we were meant to be.  - Maria Vamvalis, educator (june 19, 2011)

I've spent a good portion of my life with my worldly possessions floating around in the trunk of my car, and I am no stranger to travel. I model, sing and try my hand at art with every new medium I can get a hold of. I adore meeting new people, I tend to be very impulsive and my instincts haven't failed me thus far... Eco Manika

Photographer: Sisyphus Pushesthe Light Latex: Fetasia Latex
Headpiece: Rae Beth Designs

REMEMBERING THE ANCIENT DEER

Protecting the Sacred Well

Beginning this March, I will have the privilege of leading a series of three women's circles with Andrea Mathieson, the creator of the Raven Essences project, at her beautiful heritage home and retreat space in Maple, Ontario.

These circles have taken their time in coming into being. We first put a call out two years ago, and while there was interest, it seemed that we ourselves had more deepening and growing to do before being able to hold this space for women. As we pondered the nature of these circles, our intention came clearly into focus - we want to hold space for women who feel called to step into the feminine dimension of life in these pivotal times.

Some questions immediately come forward with regard to what the feminine means. Are we participating in reductionistic binaries? Are we saying that women are less destructive than men? Our answer is, No.

Andrea and I have both been deeply influenced by the ideas of Jungian analyst Marion Woodman, whose life's work has been focused on bringing the "feminine" to consciousness. Marion worked with thousands of dreams, and in these dreams the aspect of life associated with feelings, connectedness and deep relatedness were often symbolized by female figures. In a patriarchal culture, power often bludgeons interconnectedness in favour of control. Both men and women are deeply impacted by this mode of being. In addition, it is earth itself which has born the brunt of our lack of empathy.

I do not posit feminine as positive at the expense of masculine. Both are fundamental to wholeness.

The dominant culture is in a profound state of imbalance. The goal-oriented and rational dimension of our humanity has been out of touch with the truth of our interconnectedness. As a result, we are out of control at so many levels, and psychopathy is on the rise. The new paradigms in science are pointing a new way forward - one which reveals the truth of how synergistic life on this planet truly is. This "knowing" has been at the heart of Indigenous cultures for centuries.

What we will be gathering to honour in our women's circles is the sacred feminine - the core truth of interconnectedness at the deepest levels. When we do this, the sacred masculine "remembers" and rises to meet 'Her' within us and in the world. Social innovation, enhanced relationships, environmental healing, embodied justice, and a stronger sense of wholeness are all potential outcomes of such an inner union.

We feel that it's time to step forward for the sake of what we hold most precious in this world.

How about you?

Protecting the Sacred Well: Restoring Wholeness in Our Aching World is a series of three women's circles with Maria Vamvalis and Andrea Mathieson being held on Sunday afternoons from 1:00 - 4:00 p.m.; March 10, April 28, June 23 in Maple, Ontario. Maximum number of participants: twelve, including Maria and Andrea. Cost: $40 per circle. Please contact Andrea Mathieson at andrea@ravenessences.com if you are interested.

- Maria Vamvalis, educator

 

the author & facilitator
Maria Vamvalis
 

 

Remembering the Deer: A More Authentic Education

A More Authentic Education

I am proud to be an educator.

I feel privileged to work in the field of education on a daily basis. It's very challenging and demanding work. Yet it is often joyful, rewarding and, at times, positively miraculous.

Educators are profound cultural workers. We communicate, transmute and, if we have a critical and holistic vision, transform culture through our work. In formal educational settings, we teach the skills and concepts necessary to engage meaningfully in the world through literacy, numeracy, scientific inquiry, athletics and the arts. We assess, cajole, praise, and deliver consequences when necessary. In addition to this, our role is to create an emotionally secure environment so that learning can happen without fear, intimidation and threats to the integrity of our students.

This year, our school has committed to running a weekly whole school circle. Based on traditional indigenous ways of being in community, the circle is where we sit as equals. This initiative started in September, and we have all (teachers and students alike) noticed how our strong sense of community has been enhanced by this weekly one hour commitment. Passing around the talking stick and offering each person within the school a chance to express themselves and be heard has been profound. Tears, laughter, silence and wise-beyond-their-years insights have woven us closer together and made us all more real to one another. Bullying at our school is at a true low.

This circle, backed by a strong anti-bullying policy and commitment to emotional safety that has been in place since the school's inception, has become the place where we make authentic communication and respect a living, integrated reality. It is sacred time during the week because it is the space where we:

....are seen
....are heard
....are different
....are similar
....agree
....see things from diverse perspectives

Through the powerful simplicity of the circle, we remember that we are interconnected

© Maria Vamvalis
(January 11, 2012)
http://rememberingtheancientdeer.blogspot.com/2012/01/authentic-education.html

A TIME TO HEAL THE CONCEPT OF LOVE

Erica Payton smiling in a red dress

LEADING OUT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE


http://rememberingtheancientdeer.blogspot.com/2010/12/leading-out-unconditional-love.html 

“There are quite a few directions leading to the one hard to grasp truth of reconciliation. You have made it plain and simple, Maria Vamvalis . Putting it into action will be a challenge to many, but this 'blueprint' is stark in its clarity.” – Gregory E. Woods

Turning Conflict Into Art

Native American woman Junal Gerlach in her power

There is real difficulty in naming, acknowledging, and owning the experience of violation, and potentially trauma, which can sometimes occur in intense conflicts. It can be even more challenging to move on from conflicts that offer no balm or accountability for the unethical actions of others. We can be hurt so deeply when the acknowledgement of our voice, our perspective, our strength, and the integrity of our intentions is refused. The 'easy', (and sometimes brutish) route of blaming and scapegoating for a conflict situation emerges when another's humanity is denied.


Speaking truth to power is one of the most paradoxically powerful and vulnerable forms of conflict that emerges in our world. Toxic authority — both the kind that is entrenched in outer systems, as well as in inner ways of relating that are learned behaviours - does not like to be challenged, or have its actions questioned in any way. Toxic power can respond to questioning with rage, panic, and ruthlessness. Rather than allow the truth to emerge, cover-ups and denial are the learned modes of operating, thereby creating more and more confusion and despair within the self-regulating system of life. Healthy life systems have their own exquisitely tuned feedback loops, which are always co-creating towards greater self-expression, self-expansion and wholeness.


Learning from the dance of opposites that we find in the natural world, we see the stunning co-creativity that is constantly at work in all dynamics. If we could remember, and truly trust this instinct and impulse, our trauma could potentially become the canvas of the greatest form of expression of the deepest source of our selves. The artist of life, through honouring and expressing the comedy and tragedy of the dance can turn painful conflict into an exquisite new creation.


By MARIA VAMVALIS
MAY 21, 2010
http://rememberingtheancientdeer.blogspot.com/2010/05/turning-conflict-into-art.html

DEER WISDOM

This week, Toronto was blessed with the presence of Malidoma Patrice Somé, a gifted medicine man of the Dagara tribe. Malidoma Somé also holds two doctorate degrees - one from the Sorbonne and the other from Brandeis. His unique ability to hold the paradox of two distinct cultures brings a powerful, irreverent wisdom forward. He is able to so clearly articulate key issues facing modern culture, and also bring forward an ancient wisdom in helping to bring about positive, healing change.



Of the many pearls of wisdom Malidoma offered the circles who gathered to be with him, a few choice phrases have resonated with me:


Many dimensions are waiting for us to grow up, while we are enjoying our mediocrity in the process.


We have lost so much by wholly embracing the Cartesian worldview at the expense of other ways of knowing.


Repairing the tragedy of history must begin with the ancestors.The younger generations must no longer be the carriers of the pathos of society. The adults must take on their responsibilities. The Divine is us. Our responsibility is to live our gifts.


My favourite, though, is this: Let's live fatally. Let us not forget that life is a fatal project. When we cross over to our ancestors, let us do it in a way where we feel immensely proud - where we can say: Did you see what I did?
 
by Maria Vamvalis (novembre 17, 2010)
http://rememberingtheancientdeer.blogspot.com/

True Education of our Youth

My writing explores my passionate interest in the archetypal imagination, education, mysticism and activism. As an educator, I strive to work with young people from a more holistic and transformative pedagogical framework. ~ Maria Vamvalis, Toronto, Canada

http://rememberingtheancientdeer.blogspot.com/