Question of the Day:
"How do you keep your relationship drama free?"
- Rev. Sinclair Grey III
June 24, 2016
There were thoughtful answers to the question of the day Rev. Grey posed perhaps because people come from love, and need to be loved.
My immediate response was typical of me. "There are two types of relationships between man and woman in holy matrimony: relationships based on conflict and reciprocal relationships. Most come from and find themselves in conflict based relationships. The possibility of being in a reciprocal relationship is far and distant from the spiritual practices, and essence of most, as evidenced by the look of surprise on most faces.
The depth of what I said is better learned in a different medium."
But, I found other people's perspectives interesting.
Renita Reed said, "I think if we are in a relationship for the right reason and you first get to know and understand each other and each other's differences and definitely keep "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth." It rids DRAMA."
I sat on that awhile thinking about the depth of that calling up of those words Paul shared in a letter to the Corinthian church before I said, "Well said, but if one does not evolve to that level of love it is all a dream, a wanna be. There is a process, a deliberate one that commits the soul to unravel, unlearn and become someone new to love the way Paul described, or to be the wife King Solomon's mother described to her son. You just don't walk into that kind of love if you have never seen it in use, in action."
Candace Blanks went deep admitting, "The first step in maintaining drama-free relationships is being self-aware. I've been involved in many relationships willed with drama and in the beginning I thought that was normal for all relationships. Then I got sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, and I began to question why my relationships went the same way. I then discovered my role in the foolishness. And that led me to lead a life closer to Christ's example in all areas, not just relationships.
That move, in itself, did not alleviate drama, but it made me more aware of things that cause it, and it showed me how to avoid or eliminate drama. I just needed to follow the script: watch my tongue, guard my heart, submit my emotions to the Word of God, don't get wrapped up with people who don't put God first, etc."
One woman did not agree with the assessments saying that to her a little drama keeps things a little interesting; opens up lines to communication! Perhaps, I thought, but didn't say out loud it leads to great make up sex! In response to her thoughts I slowly wrote out a response from my core remembering my past relationships based on conflicts.
"In one very wise way I see your point, but in the context of where we live drama more frequently than not leads to destructive outcomes because aggression and competition become part of the equation. In a competitive culture how does that fare within the intimacy of marriage, and the vulnerability loving someone requires?"
And then I thought about the woman's comments more from a view I'd not considered because the Word of God was conjured up in this conversation, and ventured out with: "Perhaps she is right. There is going to be conflicts, differences in opinion. But, if she is talking about the coming together of two people who have to fight perhaps (and I am being serious) the conflicts have to lead up to make up sex. This would be an intimate and powerful place to be vulnerable to being better, or more receptive.
If this is so, and she can speak for herself, is this a bad choice or is it laden with wisdom?"
If this is so, and she can speak for herself, is this a bad choice or is it laden with wisdom?"
Gregory E. Woods, Keeper of Stories
June 28, 2016
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| Strength of character, strength of face. |
