Friday, December 19, 2014

I Remember I AM


Dec. 19, 2012 was a couple weeks from the start of my mother's physical demise. On the first of December she complained of intense head pain, and from that day forward couldn't drive, and began not remembering things. Later in the month she asked why I'd called. I told her an unction deep within my spirit.

"What did you see?" she asked.

I told her there was a figure of some sort, a form like a being, a man above her head pressing down into her head. I didn't understand what it was, but I described it and how it felt. Mommy said she saw the same thing and didn't know what it was either. But, it was happening to her. Later in the months my brothers not trusting the analysis of my sister and not liking the contradictory reports on her health, or why she wasn't seeing a doctor my youngest two brothers went to our parent's home and took over. Mommy's doctor's appointment was set, and I decided to accompany my sister, father and mother to all the appointments. 

None of us knew how our lives would change, or that cancer was discovered eating away in Mommy's brain, and the lymph nodes in her left arm were in the fourth and final stages. 

"How could that go undetected with all the visits to the doctors over the years? How the fuck does that happen?" I raged hearing this news. I could not say those words out loud. We weren't raised that way. No matter how we felt we had an example to follow and Mommy and Daddy's was the way, the truth and the light.

What Mommy's sickness meant took the life of our lives and changed everything we knew into action to care for Mommy in the beginning until we were assisting in her transition to the other world. In the end Mommy died in Michael's house (her youngest) with her first born (me) present. How I miss my mother. Mommy and I knew it would be a loss to live with as the loss of her mother was a loss she told me how she lived with.

I can't write anymore. I am crying like a motherless child. - Gregory E. Woods, Keeper of Stories  11.22.13



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