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I recently read an article in the Huffington Post on women over fifty becoming invisible to men! Here is my comment...
We all have so many variations on the theme of aging and the man/woman game. No matter how we do it, we all face the injustices of this ageist and sexist society. Under the man/woman "game" of how we give each other attention is the simple need for love, connection and the exchange of human energy, which is crucial for our life force. Everyone responds to an open human heart. Now that I am 61 and loving myself for who I am and not because I am loved by a man, it is easier to be truly open and engaging with everyone in a genuinely authentic emotionally warm way because I am no longer driven by the hormonal "need" for men to like me. The passage between 50 and 60 for me was about letting go of my "babeness" and embracing a more sovereign, centered version of myself. Am I invisible? In certain situations yes. Does it hurt? Sometimes yes! It usually pushes me to go beyond licking my wounds of aging and finding a way in to connect that feels good to me. Usually when I open my heart and reach out to connect, someone reaches back and I am no longer invisible! - Priya Rackoff, Women in Full Bloom
The story you told is like a piece of jewelry found on a beach. Everyone has walked over valuable things, and easily missed the fullness of discovering what is before them at some point in their lives. I was gently let in to your story. I've thought a great deal about invisibility from the perspective of older women since my thirties because of an older woman complaining about being invisible to the clerk, who could only see the young woman next to her with huge breasts and a big smile. The way she told her story opened an inner discussion. But, I've thought about invisibility from the perspective and experience of being a ceremonial hunter, a hunter of men (law enforcement), a father and most importantly I've developed an understanding of invisibility as a martial art.
My inner discussions as a man about aging considers other factors, but all of them are based upon the perceptions of women around me aging and growing into either old women or Old Wise Women. Their views and outlook informed me. They were and are gauges. It is too much to discuss in this forum, but I can and do share what I've learned over the years. It is important to the development of young people.
My manhood and sense of masculinity tells the story of learning to listen, and care for what women, my wife and mother say about the body, and getting old. I don't know how to convey all I need to say to this story of yours. I can, but for now suffice it to say, "I have heard your story, and will think about your story, how you told it, and why." - Gregory E. Woods, 1.12.14
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