Phyllis Hyman by Keithalan
This is not a critique of Phyllis. I miss her deeply. I have had to ask myself some hard questions when she ascended and I had to take a different path than the one she chose for herself. The vulnerability of Phyllis has always been front and center in her craft. The scream at the end of "Meet Me on the Moon" has always haunted me. It was a demand really. Not a soft, quiet plea. It was felt from beyond the place of heart. Pulling from oceanic pain and a need for relief to be loved for all that she is and to finally have one strong enough to stand before her and take her hand.
I'm making assumptions and pulling from my own story, but I learned from her steps. Learning to walk alone is not easy for any spirit filled being. I had to decide everyday to wake up and love anyway in the depth of my darkest days. Whether my vision is understood and it is often not understood in my community or out of community, I have to remember who I am. Regardless of walking the world without that one person who truly loved me as I am, I have to use my voice. Fear can be a beautiful motivator. Fear of facing a mother who is an ancestor who would question my early arrival keeps me here.
I must live though I understand how death can be a sweet embrace. The children in my life keep me here. The little ones who are now growing and asking questions about gifts I have given them over the years.They make me play and laugh when I want to be grown and sullen. And yet, the music still plays and I hear Phyllis' sweet voice. I still cry when I hear her music. I suppose I always will, but I also will make the choice to live and in Phyllis' words,"I Refuse to be Lonely." -Celeste Morgan, April 27, 2010
Billy Holliday aka Lady Day
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